A Brief Overview of The Twelve Steps

Since the misty beginnings of AA, officially dating back to June 10, 1935, the nature of the 12 Steps has been an enigma to beginners, oldtimers, professionals, and even otherwise disinterested observers.
In what is a very brief overview, this explanation will serve as only an introduction. The Steps represent a process whereby individuals, and sometimes couples, embrace necessary changes.
Step One: The First Step is often described as "the only step that you must work completely." Stated simply, the first steps identifies an area of our lives that we may believe that we can control when, in reality, we cannot. As a result of this repeating pattern, or patterns, of behavior, our lives have become chaotic and our reach has more than exceeded our grasp.
Summary: The First Step identifies places where we waste time and energy trying to control what cannot be controlled.
Example: You insert your key into the lock at your apartment, in the ignition of your automobile, etc. But nothing happens. We realize that our key doesn't work.
Step Two: The Second Step simply tells us that we cannot solve the problem by ourselves. We need some kind of capacity beyond that which is ordinarily at hand.
Summary: The Second Step tells us that we need help of some kind.
Example (continued): we realize that we need to contact the maintenance man of our apartment, a locksmith, or an automobile mechanic to get necessary help.
Step Three: The Third Step connects the first two together. We stop trying to "fix" the problem and place it in the hands of the person, or group, who can help us.
Summary: The Third Step tells us to connect the dots between the first two.
Example: We actually call or contact the locksmith or mechanic and arrange for THEM to solve the problem.
The Fourth Step: Mere superficial awareness of the problem is not enough. Patterns of behavior are often deeply ingrained and frequently unconscious. To really change, we need a "map" of the "territory" that is our life. Bill W described this "map" as being an "inventory" similar to the periodic inventory that a business must take at least annually. Without such an inventory, a business will typically fail. We list people, places, and things. We can do "traditional" inventories from the books, purchase "Step Working Guides," or use an internet resource. The most important key is to do it. And, also, it must be FINISHED by a SPECIFIC date. Why? Because many people become "stuck" on this step trying to do a "perfect" inventory.... (And, at the same time, failing to see that the perfectionism may be part of the problem....)
Summary: The Fourth Step tells us that we need a "map" or "inventory" of the patterns of our life.
Example: We review all of our keys, spares, etc. just in case the locksmith must replace the lock.
Step Five: Because we often have "blind spots" and "forgetfulness" we discuss this inventory (or map) with someone we TRUST. Often, the key to the puzzle is the very piece that we cannot see. First we need the map, though, to be truly aware of how the missing piece fits. Then we get feedback.
Summary: Step Five tells us to get necessary feedback from a trusted source to find the necessary missing pieces to our personal puzzle.
Example: We think we've got all the feedback that we need about replacing the lock, making spare keys, etc. But we contact our significant other(s) (or friends or other trusted sources) and get feedback. Perhaps our wife or husband reminds us to make a key for our mother-in-law! ;-)
Step Six: Tells us to pause and integrate the first five steps. When we started, we had one perspective of the problem. But, now, maybe a totally different perspective has emerged. We need this awareness. Steps Six and Seven sometimes are called the "forgotten steps" because many people just blast through them without taking the time to pause.
Summary: Step Six tells us to take time to pause and recognize how our perspective of the problem has changed.
Example: We now know that we need a new lock, we have a locksmith or mechanic making the repair, we're getting spare keys for our significant others, and we now know that it wasn't a problem with our key, but with out lock, instead....
Step Seven: Takes the awareness gained from the first Six Steps and moves into a readiness for action.
Example: The lock has been replaced, but now we have to take care of making spare keys, distributing them to significant others, etc.
Step Eight: The Eighth Step is a new list generated from the first seven steps, especially the Fourth and Fifth. In the Eighth Step, we make a list of relationships that are "broken" in some minor or major way. Why? Because our "stuck patterns" are often somehow related to the web of relationships that surround us....
Many people list even their pets. Have you mistreated yours somehow?
We mend these relationships to the best of our ability. Generally, most practictioners of the steps divide this list into 3 or 4 parts: immediate amends, "soon" (a week or month), "eventually" (whenever we should "accidentally" meet with that person or people) and never (usually reserved either for the dead for those who have viciously attacked us, such as a rapist).
One note about the "never" category: many people engage in exercises designed to release the (emotional) "energy." Such as writing a letter to a dead parent or possibly prayer for the one who attacked us.
Step Nine: The Ninth Step is analogous in many ways to the first. The Ninth Step tells us where we have become stuck in a relationship; we mend those relationships to the best of our ability to bring about positive changes in our life.
The reaction of the other party can be surprising. Regardless of what reaction occurs, we release the "stuck energy"
Example: We've had all the repairs made and handed out all the keys. Now we can move on to other things....
If you get this far, then a good sponsor can guide you through the remaining three steps... ...hint, the Tenth Step helps "hold the vision" or maintain the changes resulting from the first nine....